Measure Your Year By Becoming, Not By Busy

Let’s trade the end-of-year scramble for something softer and far more honest. We slow down, take a long breath, and measure the past twelve months by courage, connection, and character rather than speed or spotlight. This reflection is not about fixing; it’s about witnessing who we’ve become and carrying the most grounded parts of ourselves forward.

We trade year-end hustle for a grounded reflection on courage, connection, patience and character. We breathe, take inventory without judgment and choose a more actual path into the new year.

• reframing success away from exhaustion and toward alignment
• a guided breath to shift from fixing to witnessing
• facing fear with quiet, steady courage
• nurturing connections, setting boundaries, releasing with grace
• trusting timing and practising patient growth
• choosing character over goals when outcomes are unclear
• taking risks that expand capacity regardless of results
• practising grace, rest without guilt and self-trust
• honouring strength in unseen challenging moments
• giving love and kindness as renewable energy
• stepping into a more authentic self rather than chasing arrival

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Year’s Edge
• 2:54 Choosing A Slow Reflection
• 5:24 Grounding Breath And Intention
• 6:14 Facing Fear With Quiet Courage
• 7:32 Nurturing Connections And Boundaries
• 9:44 Patience, Degrees, And Aligned Growth
• 12:34 Character Over Goals
• 12:48 Risk, Effort, And Expansion
• 14:07 Grace, Self‑Trust, And Rest
• 15:30 Strength In The Hardest Moments
• 16:29 Love, Kindness, And Renewable Joy
• 18:08 Becoming, Not Arriving

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 1:06

And according to Apple Music, this is the song I listened to the mo most for the year. And now that I think about it, it is true. I did play this a lot in the morning during devotion, you know, meditation. But welcome back to Am I There Yet? And I'm your host, Iridot Chef Lorraine. And you know what? We are standing on the edge of 2025. And gently stepping towards 2026. And you know what? I've been thinking that this year I'm gonna be doing a different kind of end-of-year reflection. I you know, I've decided that this end of year it's not gonna be one rooted in productivity. Let me tell you something. I slept half the day, Christmas Day, and I have a I've deliberately slowed down at the end of the year. And so I'm having a non-productive when I say non-productive, I have been doing stuff, but not in that rush, not in that running around that I've been used to for years. You know what I mean? It's been instead I've been asking myself something far more honest, far more human, I guess. And that this year, this end of year, I'm going to be focusing on just slow, nourishing, grounded, and intentional moments to excel, moments that I'm taking stock without judgment of what my year has been like, just a moment that I'm honoring who I've become this year because I think I've really grown a lot this year, which surprised me because you know some of us we think we're all grown, but if we're honest, you know, that's not really true. So in my practice item life, I I teach my clients not to measure success by exhaustion, you know what I mean, not to confuse survival with thriving, not to rush reflecting, and to focus more on alignment, about growth that is rooted, not forced, about nourishment, mental, emotional, physical, spiritual nourishment. So before I go into my let's I'm gonna gather my thoughts and I'm gonna invite you to join me with that. So I'm gonna invite you to soften your body, and if you're in somewhere where you can feel safe, like you're not driving, place your feet on the floor, let your shoulders drop, take a slow breath in and a longer breath out, and remember that at this end of the year, we're not here trying to fix anything, we're here to witness, and so I'm going to be taught. Let's talk. So if you're reviewing your year, let this be what you measure. Join me in this because I'm doing this for myself too. The first thing is what are the fears that you faced, and when I say that, I mean not the fears that you eliminated, but the fears you walked alongside, the conversations you were afraid to have, the decisions that kept you awake at night, the moments your hands shook, and you did what you needed to do anyway. I found this year that courage is it's not loud, it is quiet, it's steady, and it's really deeply personal. And so if fear showed up for you this year, it means you were growing. I know it was for me. So take a deep breath, pause here, and let that land, let it land, and um the next thing in my reflection this year end is the connections that I nurtured. What connections did you nurture? This is not how many people you know or who showed who you showed up for, but what friendships you protected, the boundaries you honored so love could breathe, the relationships you released with grace sometimes I know I did. I did, and because stain, when I say release with grace, it means because stain would have meant abandoning yourself, you know what I mean? Connection is nourishment, remember that, and nourishment requires intention. So if if you loved deeply this year, if you gave of yourself this year, even when it cost you something, that counts. So that's the second point that I'm reflecting on. You know, we get so it was so easy for us to get impatient with ourselves, with others. But this is my reminder to you that growth is slow, real growth is quiet, it does not announce itself, and when I say that in that I started a master's degree during COVID, and I changed my major master's degree in social work, and in 2023 I changed my major to clinical psychology. My original major was counseling psychology, but I decided to switch, and I wasn't clear on why I did that, but now with ITO Life fully in practice, I now realize I was being guided by something, and so this is what I mean. I got my master's, yay me, but for some reason I'm I I I updated my LinkedIn and that was it. I have not made a big Instagram post, I've not blasted it all over the place. As a matter of fact, I've I've I've accomplished a lot this year, but my focus I realized was on how does this now blend with my work and my practice, and how would it benefit the outcomes for my clients, and that's what I focused on. So that's what I mean about being patient with yourself. Being patient with yourself looks like trusting timing when outcomes are unclear, and there are so many things that I was beating myself up about, and now at the end of the year I realize trust my instincts when the outcomes are unclear, and if you honor the pace of your becoming this year, you were practicing wisdom. That is what we call idle life, and then the fourth thing on my reflection list this year, and is the moments I chose courage over fear, not perfection, not certainty, but moments where I said, I don't know how this will end, but I know who I want to be while I try, and those moments they shaped my character this year, and any character, not any, and and that character is what I think is going to be carrying me into the new year, not goals, character, food for thought, eh? Yeah, and then my next thing on my list is I actually wrote each of these points down, but I I didn't flesh it out, so that's why you hear me pausing a bit. But the next thing is what risk did I take this year, regardless of the outcome. Not every risk works out, but every risk we take teaches us things, and this is my reminder to you that you are not behind if something didn't unfold the way you hoped, you are braver. The idle life thought is life honors effort, not just results. So if you left this year like I did, even with trembling knees, you expanded. Know this, you expanded your capacity for life because when I sit and reflect on this, that is what I got. I've expanded my capacity for life, yeah, and uh it takes me to the next point. I just realized I had a lot of I reflected a lot this week, this weekend. I reflected on the grace I showed myself while learning, the moments I stopped self-punishing, the days when I rested without guilt, the times I said I am doing the best I can with what I know right now, and this is my reminder to you out of that. Grace is not weakness, grace is regulation, grace is self-trust, and self-trust is a form of freedom. You did not betray yourself. Self-trust is a form of freedom. This is it's a theme, running, and my next point is, and I'm hoping this all flows. I try to put it in the order of my thoughts, but the next thing, the next reflection for the end of this year is the strength you find in your hardest moments. And when I what do I mean by that? It means the days that you kept going quietly, the nights you cried and still showed up, the resilience that carried you through what no one saw. Because strength doesn't always roar. Sometimes it whispers, you know. Just one more breath, just one more step. You know, I'm always telling people, just breathe. One more step. And if you're here listening to this last podcast of 2025, you survived something. Honor that. Honor that with every fiber of your being. You know, and the last reflection I had this year that I've been reflecting on for the last week is the love you gave, the kindness you gave, whatever it is, openly and unapologetically. I know that's a hard for a lot of us, whether it's professional, personal, spiritual, whatever it is you gave openly and apologetically, given without guarantee, given you offered it without shrinking. That love, that kindness, that self flowed even when the world felt tight. Because you know what? Love, kindness, joy, they're all renewable energy, and the more you give, you give these things, the more you become it. I have found that for myself this year that the more joy, the more kindness, the more love I give, the more I become it, and that love, that kindness, that joy, real joy, real love, real kindness, it's always on time for the right person, the right situation, then the right being. And so, as we step into this new year coming up, 2026, I'm gonna invite you to release the idea that you must arrive. You know what I mean? Because you're already on the way, so there's no arriving. Carry forward the courage you've practiced this year, the patience you've cultivated, the love you embodied, the kindness you give, the joy you found. This new year does not need a different you, it needs a truer you, the real you. That's what I promised myself. The real me. This year, I will show up as a truer self of version of myself, more rooted, more present, more alive. This is idle life, and you've been listening to Am I There Yet? And if you're asking that question as we cross this threshold together, know this. You are not behind, you are becoming. Until next time, let us walk softly into the new year together.